Weird

It’s really weird how, while on my way to work, I have these fabulous ideas of what to write here. Then once I open the browser, it disappears.  Poof, zap, bam, gone.

Maybe it’s the stress I’m feeling.  It could be fatigue.  I can’t even concentrate on work.  These days have got to be the most important for me right now.  I consider it a turning point in my life.  Going round the bend so to speak.  But I just can’t get myself into it. 

I’ve been trying desperately to get me some perspective but there’s just too much mental noise.  I’ve never really been like this so I was wondering where this can all be attributed to.  

It could be fear.  For some reason, what’s happening in the office is putting a lot of fear in my person.   Everytime I meet with clients I feel taken advantaged of.  It’s weird really and just this afternoon after a little bit of reflection (a rarity lately),  I suddenly understood how prostitutes feel, except that I don’t get violated physically, just screwed mentally I guess. 

You might think that I’m really pushing the limits of my analogies this time.  But think about it,  prostitutes do it out of need for money.  Businesses basically prostitute themselves in order to close deals and for what?  Money of course.   There are instances when prostitutes probably squirm in disgust of most of their clientele.  Whereas, I am forced to give functionalities even if it wasn’t even part of the original discussion or agreement in the first place. 

Arrrgh!  Don’t mind me.  My brain is all cluttered up and at this point, I wouldn’t even be able to compose a good article if my life depended on it.