i thought you didn’t approve of “pre-judging” people. give them the benefit of the doubt as you would say.

but yeah, our views and opinions of a person’s character change over time. the more we get to know them, the better the labels we assign to them. better labels also help us deal with them more appropriately.

Ah Gratsi,

I still don’t approve of it. There will always be initial impressions, but there must be recognition within the self that those impressions are are products of our biases and may be totally baseless.

so what is this about?: “In our lives we will get to meet a lot of people where we have “ready labels” handy. But as we get to know the person, we tend to change these labels and put in the more appropriate ones.”

Okay to defend my position, I think I have sufficiently addressed the issue with my initial answer to your comment Gratsi.

Impressions are different from judgments. Judgments tend to to say “guilty till proven innocent”. Whereas impressions leave a lot of room for doubt.

apologies my neurons might not be working properly, i failed to appreciate the sufficiency of your answer.

anyhoo, i beg to disagree. when we formulate impressions we are already passing judgment. impressions are the first step of judgment. but hey this is your blog, you can say whatever you want. i’m just a reader expressing my thoughts.

Oooooh, what a pickle. How do I explain this to you further. Hmmmm…..

In my opinion, impressions are just that impressions. In scientific terms, a hypothesis if you wish. Meaning there is recognition that they are subject to further scrutiny or observation. Whereas when we say judgment, it is done with some form of finality. A conclusion to the experiment. Just explaining where I am coming from.

There is no need to apologize Grace, you were expressing a valid opinion and I’d be the first one to kick myself if I were to censure anybody with no just cause.

I dislike judging people because it always put a negative strain on my mind, and carry too much of those strain and I get depressed.

I think what has affected me the most regarding my attitude towards other is from reading To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee. It has a defense attorney character that insist on never condemning people for what they do without at first putting yourself on their shoes.

But as for learning to live with my flaws? Hmmm… I dunno. I think accepting myself for who I am is good, but, at the same time, I shouldn’t let the wrongs that I do just pass.

Been a while since I last read this blog (or any blog, for that matter) and it’s always refreshing to hear your views, rv!

Wow, thanks ND! But I agree with you, too much negativity on the mind will cause a strain and ultimately lead to undue stress. Also, I really should have put there in the entry that accepting your shortcomings is not a license to just let it be. There must be recognition that improvements are needed while being mindful of the traps that we can fall into while trying to achieve such imrprovements.

For now, the justice system would be a good benchmark when giving people the benefit of the doubt. Though, it is a flawed system, it nevertheless provides (in theory though not necessarily what happens) a lot of leeway for the accused.

that’s an enlightening entry coming from a somewhat enlightened man..

that journey of knowing one’s self is quite difficult for most.

Mae,

Thank you very much for your kind words.

I have found that the journey only becomes difficult when there is resistance from within. It can be denial, pride, egotism, narcissism or whatever people wish to call it.

In the end, when truths are not recognized, questions and doubts will continue to linger and at the end of the day, the psyche will still need to address them. People in this state of mind, may come to conclusions but more likely than not, they will be flawed outcomes and new beginnings (that normally comes with such epiphanies) turn out to be a continuation of the struggle within. Whew! That made my brain work overtime! Hahahaha!

That would be 20 dollars please. Hehehehe.

hahaha! How costly, but true indeed. There are what looks like epiphanies and new beginnings that we eventually find to be a continuation of a what seem to be an endless struggle. {looks like I can relate}. hehehe. i guess your undergrad is BS Psych?

Is it? I thought, it was cheap. Hehehe.

Uhm…..no. My undergrad is political science, but I did have around 12 units of psychology. Half of it from elective subjects cause it really piques my interest. Was actually thinking of taking up another master’s degree but this time in psychology.

Yes, problem is (for some people) that there is a fine line that separates reality (represented by truth) and subjectivism (which we will call fantasy). A lot of people mistake subjectivism (stuff that we would like to believe) as reality which of course screws up the whole epiphany thing. Hehehehe.

Well what do you know? That’s another 20 dollars. Hahahahaha. Just kidding Mae!

haha, but that makes you a salesman in reality. have a nice day and thank you for the dialogue mr virus

Well, in a way I am one. Hehehehe.

Hey Mae, do you have a blog or something? I find it unfair that you read my blog and I don’t even have anything to read that’s yours. tsk, tsk, tsk.

Hahahaha.

ohh, thank you for the interest mr virus. i had a number of blogs before but lost most of the passwords because they were hardly maintained.

Currently i have one at Multiply, and well, Friendster. i reckoned you don’t have both.

awww that sucks. I don’t have both. I used to have a friendster account but I decided to delete it and moved to facebook.

haha. you can access my multiply though. and i also have facebook. in this case, may i know your name ?

ah my name is not important. Hehehe. Sorry, Mae, but I can’t give it out here.

haha. already figured that too. just thought it would slip your mind– and oh well. funny. thanks for the chat