Boredom can cause mental retardation
November 6, 2007***This post is not intended for children ages 17 and below. If you are and your mom is single, pretty and looking, kindly call her and introduce me to her and all will be forgiven.****
Oh well, I really am not in the mood to be serious so while staring at the computer I noticed that my idle hand automatically went to the……….uhm……let's see……..okay, let's just call it the nether region k?
Then it got me thinking! Wow, I couldn't be the only guy who does this instinctively. And being the utterly bored soul that I am, my mind took the next step. It was trying to figure out why guys do that. Guys, here's a question for you, how many times have you woken up and found your hand inside the cookie jar? Being in the ripe old age of 34, I'm sure I have found my hand wedged there many a flag ceremony.
Anyway, the following are hypotheses of why a man's hand always seems to stray to his nether regions.
1. Afraid the bird has flown the coop: Come on guys, let's be real. It really can't escape. Well, unless you have a hole in your undies, but even then, the most that you can expect is that it will peek, but hell that is if it's even that long! I really don't understand why we need to check on it once in a while. It's like saying "whew, it's still there, the female specie is safe" Which of course brings us comfort when we do pat it and find it is safely tucked away.
2. Warmth: I can hear the women groaning, "Yeah right, as if that part of the anatomy isn't warm enough". But frankly dear ladies, that is none of your business. Try shaving your head and exposing it to the elements, let see if you won't get cold. And you know what else??? It shrinks during cold weather, and being men, we must always be prepared for instances that might get us laid and it doesn't do the ego well when we are cold so we….I mean IT needs warmth.
3. Itch: Jeeezus H man!!! Have yourself checked!!! That can't be a good sign!! Oh yeah, and that's what you get from too much adventuring into mama sans territory!! Tsk, tsk, tsk.
4. Missing the genuine touch: Of course if you've experienced sex, then to be able to relive it is something short of an obsession for a guy. Thoughts like, "this is how Wanda used to hold it" or "Georgia used to straddle it like so". I'm quite surprised that women don't act on this as well with regard to their mammary glands.
Oh well, if you've reached this far into the entry without hurling in disgust, then it would be safe to assume that you are a guy!
Yes, boredom does let the somewhat timid and gentle mind runaway with exciting thoughts.
PS: To you: Yes, you. You know who you are. The devil made me write this post! I swear! He wouldn't stop whispering in my ear! It wasn't my fault! He was too powerful! Hahahaha!
Previous Comments
HAHAHAHA! My Zahir will always be my Zahir! Yeah, I get into trouble with these sordid thoughts once in a while, but the Zahir is always there.
If you are a guy, then I must be gay??? Hahahaha!
Posted by ramblingvirus at November 7, 2007, 12:31 pmpag-uuntugin ko nga ang mga to, ahihi
Posted by cocoy at November 7, 2007, 1:19 pmhahahaha!!!
i’m not a guy, ok…but probably has the courage to comment on this…am SURE some women have read this but didn’t want to be thought of as they did so they shunned away from commenting.
am married so i know this stuff. it’s a fact of life.
an observation:
you don’t know the answers to your questions BECAUSE you have two heads and can never think with BOTH. When the other (with a mind of its own) is functioning…SURELY the other isn’t….THAT IS WHY YOU CAN’T THINK!
you can’t do MULTITASKING….another point WOMEN wins over men.
probably *i have* the courage
Posted by c5 at November 8, 2007, 9:06 amCocoy,
bu..bu..bu..but why?? **snicker, snicker**
C5, so does this mean that the saying that “two heads are better than one” does not apply in this case?? Hehehe.
Oh I’ve been there, done that, bought the tshirt, read the book. Only women who have been or are still married will be able to relate. Cause the single women have not been around men long enough to notice this, cause men know it’s disgusting and would not openly admit it! Oh by the way, that was one of my alter egos who posted that, not me. I would never do that. Hahahaha!
Posted by ramblingvirus at November 8, 2007, 12:39 pm:P men: denial kings
C5,
I’m no denial king!!!
Hmmmm, did I just prove you correct? Hahahaha!
Posted by ramblingvirus at November 9, 2007, 7:28 amYup! And I know you did it on purpose.
bwahahaha! this one’s funny dude! Pero totoo. haha
Why can’t I produce a single nice post when I am bored??? oh man… That’s not fair!
Posted by janus at November 12, 2007, 9:52 amGood question, Janus. It would be a safe assumption that she’s the wife…but then, it could be another…
Men is not good in multitasking but more often than not, does, multi-wifing…
(good thing my hubby can’t do that as well….rather, he won’t.)
Men *are* or *Man* is…arghh…I hate it when my grammar fails
Posted by c5 at November 12, 2007, 3:10 pmI think I know who she is c5… hehehe
it’s ok to be bad in grammar, we are only humans c5
Uhm C5, hate to correct you on this, but I have been separated for quite a while now and there really is no chance for reconciliation anymore.
Long story really, one that I don’t care to revisit. Oh and it’s not in my nature to juggle relationships. Although I may sound that way in this blog, I guess, I just wasn’t brought up that way. Don’t worry, you didn’t know so it’s not your fault.
Janus, uhm, whoever is on your mind, mukhang sya na yun! Hahahaha!
Oh yeah, and all you need to do really is observe your quirks and expound. That way, you come up with really outrageous entries.
Posted by ramblingvirus at November 12, 2007, 6:17 pmat least that clears things up a bit.
have you and janus known each other offline?
so, the mom of your kids is the current or the past? cute kids you got there.
how i wish to see your face…is there a possibility? don’t keep hiding behind the old man when you are not at all really old. i think i’m even older.
Thanks C5, they are my treasure and would absolutely be lost without them. Their mom is my ex.
Ah the eternal question of revealing myself. Yes, some have seen me and some wish to see me still, however, I deal with a lot of people and some of them are my clients who at one time of another I have dissed in this blog of mine. so to protect the business, I have kept myself invisible. Hehehe.
Well, I met Janus cause he’s a soldier in the gender wars. Not exactly a hard hitter and makes me wonder where his loyalties lie as he seems to be chummy chummy with a lot of women.. Hehehe. Biro lang Janus!
Posted by ramblingvirus at November 12, 2007, 8:45 pmThat wouldn’t be a problem if you simply email me your pic.
I would not tell anyone. Promise.
Just
Another
Name
Usually
Sweet
Hehe…maybe that’s why… ![]()
Just made that up now…
C5, hehehehe. Just request for access in my profile. I have pictures here that are restricted to my close friends.
hahaha… no wonder I wasn’t able to sleep last night. hahaha
Thanks C5, but I’m not sweet. I’m bitter… ![]()
Bitter about life that is…
Waaah Mr. Virus… Your playing safe ah… hahaha! Sabihin mo na kasi! Walang sikretong di nabubunyag. lol… Pero it’s ok to keep it a secret for your privacy’s sake. hehe
Yeah, I’m kind of wondering too C5 about this owner’s face.
And I am very friendly, that’s why I have a lot of chums! hahaha!
Posted by janus at November 13, 2007, 12:48 pmJanus, better to be safe than sorry. Hahahaha!
Why are you guys wondering how I look like? I am an ordinary man, maybe a little “gwapo” but that’s it. Hahahahaha! Biro lang.
How do you add people in your friends list here ba?
Posted by ramblingvirus at November 13, 2007, 1:21 pmI think sa dashboard. meron atang add people sa upper right side.
ok send me your email addresses and i link you guys up.
i did not see any picture of you in your photo album…just your kids…
Posted by c5 at November 13, 2007, 8:37 pmtry it now c5, just gave you access.
awww…you’re cheating! ![]()
the only pic of 2 guys (i think) are even blurred purposefully!
just send your pic to my email ok?
lol…the word required below is ‘finis’ ![]()
it should have been ‘unfinishe’ but perhaps that is too long
oh yeah
Posted by mark at December 28, 2007, 3:30 amMany times people are: how scarce the.
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yeah!! i AM a guy!!! hahahahaha!!
tsk tsk tsk..kawawang Zahir..ano na nangyari? thought you were reading..i think mr. coelho’s insipirational messages went down the drain..poor guy!
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HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by tonyo at November 7, 2007, 12:25 pm