Pulled back?
September 9, 2007Last September 6, was supposed to be our 10th anniversary. I had a full day ahead and was happy that I will get to work my ass off and forget everything, when while walking I receive a text as early as 6:15am.
It was from ex. Greeting me a "Happy" Anniversary, asking for forgiveness and professing love. Also, she made it a point to tell me that I don't need to answer if I will be negative with it. Damn nearly ruined my day.
When a person is trying to move on, it means that he/she is trying to forget the past, get over the pain and basically, trying to live again. Such a text was enough to pull me back to those times. Times that I care not to relive but to bury deep into the rubble of my psyche. It had gotten so bad that I had to pause from walking and was just trying to contain the swelling emotions of anger, resentment and bitterness when……………………….a blonde bombshell ran from behind me jogging and everything was forgotten. Life is good.
Okay, okay, that was not how it went!! Anyway, it made me angry because after having the nerve to hurt me TWO TIMES she will profess love? Clearly, this woman does not understand the meaning of the word. At the same time though, there was pity for her. Why? Cause, life has changed for me. I think I have moved on enough to forget the intense pain this has caused and have somehow accepted that she is just a part of my past and should not necessarily be the present nor the future.
Then there was that word again, "Forgiveness". She probably thinks that I still have this intense hate for her. Not trying to project myself as a saint but I have let go of that emotion right after the second offense and replaced it, with as I've said, pity. You see, pity because she never truly understood what was important to me, and pity because, I knew she was never going to change. That was just about the time when resignation settled in and with all the signs glaring right in front of me, I accepted the fate of our marriage.
So now, after such an emotional entry. Here I am, still single (yet hoping) not to be so in the coming years with someone better, someone who is worthy to be loved with much devotion, someone who deserves what I have to offer.
**Okay, you can wipe the tears from your eyes now.** Hehehehe
Previous Comments
Eeeeeeeeww Cai! I hope you used tissue with that! Kindly dispose of it properly as we don’t want anyone scratching themselves with that once it dries up! Hahahahaha.
I guess, she’s got more balls than I do, as I would never try to contact a person who I know I almost destroyed. Not because, I don’t want to, but more out of shame. If what she was saying were actually true, then more’s the pity, I guess.
Thanks Cai, but that blossoming romance has so far to go. So many issues to sift through. Gotta get myself all fixed up and be given a clean bill by a mental health professional. Hahahaha!
Posted by ramblingvirus at September 12, 2007, 7:21 amlet me share with you this quote that i posted in my first entry (nung unang panahon pa, when dinosaurs used to roam earth
)
“. .don’t feel sorry about yourself when the one you care for turned out to be unworthy of your affection. . just keep in mind that maybe God put a few bad people in your life, so when the right one came along you’ll appreciate that person and you’d be thankful. .there is a big, beautiful world outside what you have confined yourself to accept your fate and leave your baggage behind always remember that we get hurt for a reason and we make mistakes so we can learn. .lucky are those who find love but better are the ones who know how to let go of love when it is not meant for them anymore. .”
:) *hugs*
Posted by tonyo at September 12, 2007, 11:56 amhi mr. v, have you really really really forgiven your ex? i think you should. i mean completely forgive. so you can really move on with your life in finding the right one you deserve… so you will never get angry when she tries to say these things to you again… that means, you had just moved on….
Pareng Tonyo, I knew you were old but I didn’t know you were that old. Hehehe. But seriously, I have always been grateful with what I have, hence, I can live simply enjoying, savoring the things that matter to me.
Ms. Cris, how can you forgive completely if there is no facility for you to forget? I think there is that certain level of forgiveness already and I believe, that in time true forgiveness will come…….when I’m ready. I have been indifferent most of the time and am seldom affected by her, but there was this anxious anticipation when the day arrived. Knowing that sometime in my past that day was special. Oh well, don’t really expect anyone to understand…..but thank you very much for insight.
Thanks guys!
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actually its more of a snot than tears …
i know i shouldn’t be reacting like this pero dahil nikikilig ako sa “blossoming” love story mo ngayon… i feel like your ex is clueless of what she has done … after all this time she still has the nerve to be mushy on your supposedly anniversary?! ANYWHO, life goes on and i do hope you get the girl you deserve this time
cheers!
Posted by ccc at September 11, 2007, 7:06 pm