Food for thought
August 18, 2007
Alright, hold on people this virus is waxing philosophical so this post will be serious. It's been on my head for quite sometime now, and normally, I would rather ponder this on my own. But just this week, I saw the need to discuss this with a female friend (who is also my colleague) and she gave me lots of eye openers (no, not that kind of eye opener you pervs!).
Anyway, since I've been burned pretty bad by my past marriage, I'm kind of lost when it comes to relationships. First thing I look for when meeting someone new is what trait or characteristic the lady has that will definitely be a problem with me in the future. It's gotten so bad that with the way things are going, I'm going to be single for a veeeeeeeeeeeery long time. Then my friend goes, "when you go on a date, you don't have to be expecting anything. Just go with the flow and see where it will lead you". So I go on and on with my long spiel of "just being cautious" and "how I am very much afraid to commit at this point". Then she answers me curtly, "you think too much! Just don't expect anything and enjoy the moment. If you end up as friends then well and good. If you end up something more, then much better." Words of wisdom from a person who is six years younger than me. Of course, there are still a lot of issues, like technically I'm still married, but I sure do miss just being able to cuddle with someone. Though, I can do this with my daughter, it's different when it's with a grown up. ****Wink, wink!****
It is often said that people who are not afraid to fail will most likely taste the fruits of success one day. This has been running through my head like a bunny on steroids. Though, I have no problem utilizing this mantra professionally, my hang up happens when it comes to relationships. Fear can be paralyzing and believe me, this aspect of my life has not moved an inch since I decided to call it quits from my last one.
Anyway, I wanted to hear feedback from you guys. Specifically, those who have had a bitter experience, on how they managed to open themselves up to more miser…..I mean….happiness. Although, I can be happy all on my own (that's what palms are for), the truism that "no man is an island" admittedly applies at this point.
So my dear thinking readers, what do you think? Should I take a plunge and risk all again? Or should I just keep on the safe zone and go on with life like what I am doing now?
Previous Comments
I would have to agree that you think too much. I understand being cautious. Who isn’t afraid of hurting? Just have fun, don’t worry too much about the future and live in the moment. “Just burn the bridge when you get there” (hahaha san ko ba kinuha yun? dun sa The email ata?)
Here’s another one:
“Ayaw natin magmahal at dumikit sa iba dahil ayaw natin masaktan, maging malungkot, sawi at miserable muli, pero sa pag-iwas mo sa pag-ibig, masaya ka ba?”
That’s from someone who crashed and burned many times over and is stupid enough to risk it all over again.
Posted by joiz at August 18, 2007, 6:01 pm**Virus is blushing**
Thanks Ches, I didn’t expect that, but your comment was a pleasant surprise.
I really thought I found true love already, sadly I risked it all. I guess, I was living in a fantasy world. Oh well, let us hope that I will find the “Cajones” to do so again!
Joiz,
That was one thought provoking comment. No not the wrongful cliche. Hahahaha! The one in Filipino. Need to let it roll around my head for a while.
Thanks guys! I really appreciate it
I hope other people will comment as well.
Hi Mr. V…
Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to RISK YOUR HEART.
I know you know these things already. And I believe you already know what to do. Our biggest fears can actually be the very things we claim we want so much – happiness, joy, love, abundance and freedom! The question is not “How good can it get?” but “How good will we let it be?”.
Past is past. You already learned from it. And about your situation right now, here’s what I can say.. if you think you’re not good enough
for the woman you want, then you’re not good enough for yourself..because if you can’t accept your own image/situation, no one else in the world will.
“…i’ve learned that you
cannot make someone love you
all you can do is stalk them
and hope they give in…”.
hehehe
Hope you will feel ok.
Posted by cris at August 18, 2007, 10:06 pmwell………
…..alam mo na yon
just wanted you to know that you are still ABLE
oopps! did i just say that?..hehehe
Cris,
Wow, so much to go on with what you said. To tell you truthfully, I read your comment since last night, but just had to bring the points to bed, where the col. and pv (my alter egos) debated on it. Hahaha. But seriously, you have so much depth. Thank you very much.
Twish,
Ano na???
Thanks very much for the ego booster. Though people might think we did something very naughty! The interpretation of the word “ABLE” might get out of hand, and knowing the people who read here, they aren’t exactly saints ya know! Hahahaha!
To tell you truthfully, you yourself are a bombshell, and I can see why men fall all over themselves when they are near you. Now before anyone accuses me of shamelessly flirting online, all I can say is you must meet her to believe!
Posted by ramblingvirus at August 19, 2007, 8:58 amyou haven’t met her yet - your next victim este dream girl…coz if you do, you won’t even think twice of pursuing or not.
i agree with ur friend’s advice. if u think too much about it, and be cautious, the spontaneity of the relationship suffers. just have fun.
i would so like to help you but i feel in no place to give advice… sorry! i’m still bitter of that bitch that ditched me for another guy five years ago.
Posted by paolomendoza at August 20, 2007, 9:47 pmCarey, hehehe, victim eh? I don’t know, been a little jaded for a while now. Really thought, I had it all before. Maybe I haven’t found her, but if I do, I’d be scared shitless to commit again. I don’t know, maybe she’d take that fear away or make me believe that is possible. Oh well, will just cruise along and see where my feet will take me. Thanks very much.
Paolo, uhm five years is quite a long time to be carrying such negative thoughts, maybe it’s time to let go huh? (look who’s talking! hahahaha!) But seriously, I give myself a year, if I don’t get my head straight after that, I will make a conscious effort to remove all frustrations in my brain. Yep easier said than done, but gotta start somewhere.
manong, i AM a BOMB waiting to be detonated
i can be like that at first, but i can be boring as years flutter by
nway, now ko lang napansin ah “Although, I can be happy all on my own (that’s what palms are for)” HAHAHHAHAHAA!! ilang beses ko rin sa yo narinig yan during the event last night!
YOSI KADIRI!!! hahahhahaa!
“eyes burnin last night…mainggitttttt!”
ito naman eh, nambubuko eh. Shhhh. sikwet yan. Hahahaha.
I apologize for sneezing on you the rest of the night ha? Didn’t know I was allergic to beautiful women. Hahahaha!
Posted by ramblingvirus at August 26, 2007, 6:47 amAll comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
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Virus, i would like to think you’re a catch since you already have kids and women throw themselves at you. like anything else in life, love comes unexpectedly. your friend is right, go out and just have fun. no expectations. like you, i was cautious with my heart. i still am. but to find true love, i guess you have to really risk it all.
Posted by Cheska at August 18, 2007, 2:51 pm