Ruminations
July 26, 2007Last night as I lay down to sleep, I began contemplating about my future when it comes to relationships. So far, you guys have read of the opportunities that have been presented to me (with regard to women) and how somehow….in one way or another, I bungled them up and just refused to act on them. Been reflecting on why that is and I think I have come to some plausible explanations.
1. Baggage: Still smarting from the emotional beating I took for three years. I really think the last thing I need is a relationship right now.
2. I never really was one to play the field. For me, I will go on a date only if I think the relationship has potential and that is not only in a sexual way.
3. It would be unfair to commit to something that I will not be able to give my 100% time to. Outside of work, my life has revolved around my daughter and son (when they are with me) and those two are already a handful. Sure I get to go out with friends and relatives once in a while (maybe once a month). But I do have the guilty feeling of not being with the kids when I am on a night out.
The reason I suddenly began an inner search was because so far, I have been presented once again with opportunities these past few days. And you know what, these women are bombshells. Goddesses that if you think real hard about it, are real keepers. Yet when the situations presented themselves, I noticed the growing fear inside of me. Fear of being vulnerable again, fear of letting go of what I currently know to be my strength.
Ahh but I ramble as always. I have always prided myself of being able to face my worst fears. Yet, I think this time, it might take me a while to overcome it.
Previous Comments
the right time will come mr. virus… for now, enjoy every bits and pieces of your life especially while your kids are stll…well.. kids 
have a nice day!
Posted by CCC at July 26, 2007, 2:51 pmCris, thanks. Yeah, it’s all about timing now, I just find it so frustrating to be limited at this point when I should be enjoying myself. For crying out loud I’m “only” 34 years old. Take note the quotation marks on only. Hehehehe.
CCC, I’m just afraid that I might be too old by then and won’t be able to enjoy what’s left of my life. Wag naman sana! hahahaha!
Again thanks you two!
Posted by ramblingvirus at July 26, 2007, 3:05 pm“life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more..”
you are in a much better position now, just play your cards right 
didn’t mean to make it sound in a bad way, but all i’m saying is that you have all the aces now and you have learned a lot. i wish to see you happier and pleased in time
Hmmmm, wonder when that will happen. Hehehe, you must have the key to that. 
key to–? may nilagay ba akong door sa post ko? labo mo talaga manong 
c-a-r-d-s..hehehehe
Posted by tonyo at August 28, 2007, 11:32 pmAll comments are moderated. Your comments will not appear here unless approved by the blog owner. Thank you.
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awww…
so touching…
I think timing will really play an important role in your life right now…It has to do with you being ready to face your fears and eventually being ready to commit to some relationship in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddyromance.
Really, it’s hard. I don’t know, but somehow, I sympathize on how u feel. Maybe because I’m having ruminations also about my situation.
But anyway, I am praying for your happiness as well.
Posted by cris at July 26, 2007, 11:35 am